Day 26

Today's Lesson:

My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.

I know today's lesson makes sense, because this Course is nothing if it's not logical. But sometimes it's difficult for me to grasp the logic. So I'll take a try at unraveling today's lesson here. If I believe attack is possible, then I am vulnerable. That is because I really believe I am capable of attacking someone else. But what would affect someone else must also have effects on me. So instead of using this principle against what would be in my own best interest, I need to focus on how I can use this law for my own best interest.

If attack thoughts must mean that I am vulnerable, the effect of those thoughts is to weaken me in my own eyes. They will have attacked my perception of myself. If this is the case, I must believe in my attack thoughts instead of in myself. So every effect - vulnerability, attack, everything - is the result of my own thoughts.

Realizing that any distressing or upsetting thought that comes into my mind is actually an attack upon myself is the key to today's lesson. Spending time thinking about any attack thought and the possible outcomes of those upsetting thoughts will allow me to separate my thoughts from the attack. Nothing but my own thoughts can attack me. Nothing but my thoughts can make me think I am vulnerable. And nothing but my thoughts can prove to me this is not so.

Miracles I'm noticing:

Yesterday I was working on preparations for a retreat I'm going to be facilitating today. But I also had two meetings scheduled in the afternoon with other people. I went to a coffee shop about an hour before my first scheduled meeting. I had taken my computer so I could work on the slides for today's presentation. About a half hour before my meeting was scheduled, I thought to myself that I wished I had an extra hour before the meeting because I had about an hour more work than I anticipated. I knew I would just have to stop in the middle of my slides while I had this meeting and the next one, and pick it up afterwards and finish the presentation.

About 10 minutes later an e-mail popped up from the person I was scheduled to meet with in 20 minutes telling me she would need to reschedule our meeting. I found myself with an extra hour before my next meeting. Coincidence? Miracle? I choose to believe so. This Course says there is no order of difficulty in miracles. The Secret says our own beliefs about the power of the Law of Attraction sometimes limit the miracles that appear to be available to us. The Secret suggests we start small - like with a cup of coffee, or a parking space, or by thinking about someone we haven't thought about for a while. If you really focus your thoughts, the Law of Attraction says that there is science behind the effects, which will show up as someone buying you a cup of coffee, getting a close parking spot, or hearing that person's name come up in seemingly random fashion.

What used to happen to me was that I would want to believe in something, but there would always be this little voice of cynicism and doubt in my mind saying "this will never work" and - so be it - it wouldn't work. I'd get to be right every time. What didn't occur to me at that time was that I could be right about believing it would work, too. It just appeared easier to default to the negative.

Now I find that defaulting to the positive is much more automatic for me. I don't have as many attack thoughts - and if I do, I notice them much more quickly (thank goodness for the Law of Gestation which gives me that time delay before the thoughts manifest!).

I just noticed that I refer to The Secret and also this Course a lot in my conversations. It's not unlike my references to The Landmark Forum. For me those have been really significant signposts in my own life. Landmark was my first exposure to a lot of this new way of thinking, so for me that was my wake-up call and I compare a lot of my thinking to Landmark simply because it was my first reference. The same is true of both A Course in Miracles and The Secret - each represents a quantum jumping off point for me in old thought patterns. I just want to give credit where it is due in my own life and am in no way suggesting or even implying that anyone else need follow the same path.

What are you noticing in your own life? Where are all those coincidences? Just noticing them might shed some light on what isn't and also what is working in your life.

Day 6

Today's Lesson:

I am upset because I see something that is not there.

This is such a great reminder that I add all the meaning to anything that upsets me. It also reminds me of the fear that seems to take hold of many people. We usually are in fear of things that either will never happen or of things that have no bearing on the present, which is when we are in fear. By that I mean that if we are remembering an unpleasant or painful incident from the past, we may be keeping ourselves from participating in our lives because we might recreate that experience. If we are thinking about the possibility of something being unpleasant in the future, even though it's never happened to us before, we are doing the same thing. We are creating our experience, even though there is no present stimulus to cause that except what's in our minds.

Miracles I've noticed:

I got up very early this morning and watched the Larry King episode from November 2 that he called "Positive Thinkers." It was an interview with four of the people from "The Secret" and also JZ Knight, who was one of the interviewees in "What the Bleep Do We Know." Although I'd seen this episode when it aired live, watching it the second time, I learned so much more.

One of the reminders this morning was from Michael Beckwith who said humans are always growing - it is our natural state. And the growing he was talking about was mental and spiritual growth. He said this means simply that we eliminate the filters that we've put up throughout our lives. This type of growth is not about adding anything to us - it's eliminating everything that hinders our growth. I also remember John Assaraf saying that 50% of what we are is from our genetics and the other 50% is environment, but we are raised by the people who gave us our genetics. So we're conditioned to behave and believe a certain way over time - we won't break that cycle overnight. It's a process.

That's why I'm grateful for this study. It's a process in which I can come back to my natural state of openness and love. When I'm upset, it's because of something that isn't even there ... it's something I've put there. This was a great reminder!

Day 5

Today's lesson:

I am never upset for the reason I think.

This is such a great reminder that anything that frustrates or upsets us is really a great lesson seemingly in disguise. Our natural tendency would be to blame some outside stimulus for "making" us feel a certain way but, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

I'm thinking of the Emotional Guidance System in the book Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and also in the first edition of The Secret.

Jacin Steele talks about this concept on his blog:

Thoughts cause feelings. Feelings let you know what you are attracting. There are only two feelings. One feels good and one feels bad. Although there are many degrees of good and bad feelings, there are only these two primary feelings.

Whatever you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming. What you think and what you feel always matches what manifests. Your emotions are an absolutely accurate indicator of what you are attracting to your life.

Pay attention to your emotions. Always ask yourself how you are feeling. If you are feeling bad, make a conscious decision to feel good. Feel love, feel health, or feel connection. Even if it is not there, the Universe will respond and attract to you that which you are feeling. If you feel healthy, you will become more healthy. If you feel loved, you will attract more love.

Miracles I've noticed:

Nick Smith's and Kammie Kobyleski's blog posts each seemed to be written for me as I read through them today. Considering today's lesson, I think about what Nick wrote about the problem with leadership and how he reframed that apparent upset to shine light on a different target. Kammie talked about anxiety, perfectionism and fear, which would also turn on its head if we shifted the focus from what we thought it meant.