Day 26

Today's Lesson:

My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.

I know today's lesson makes sense, because this Course is nothing if it's not logical. But sometimes it's difficult for me to grasp the logic. So I'll take a try at unraveling today's lesson here. If I believe attack is possible, then I am vulnerable. That is because I really believe I am capable of attacking someone else. But what would affect someone else must also have effects on me. So instead of using this principle against what would be in my own best interest, I need to focus on how I can use this law for my own best interest.

If attack thoughts must mean that I am vulnerable, the effect of those thoughts is to weaken me in my own eyes. They will have attacked my perception of myself. If this is the case, I must believe in my attack thoughts instead of in myself. So every effect - vulnerability, attack, everything - is the result of my own thoughts.

Realizing that any distressing or upsetting thought that comes into my mind is actually an attack upon myself is the key to today's lesson. Spending time thinking about any attack thought and the possible outcomes of those upsetting thoughts will allow me to separate my thoughts from the attack. Nothing but my own thoughts can attack me. Nothing but my thoughts can make me think I am vulnerable. And nothing but my thoughts can prove to me this is not so.

Miracles I'm noticing:

Yesterday I was working on preparations for a retreat I'm going to be facilitating today. But I also had two meetings scheduled in the afternoon with other people. I went to a coffee shop about an hour before my first scheduled meeting. I had taken my computer so I could work on the slides for today's presentation. About a half hour before my meeting was scheduled, I thought to myself that I wished I had an extra hour before the meeting because I had about an hour more work than I anticipated. I knew I would just have to stop in the middle of my slides while I had this meeting and the next one, and pick it up afterwards and finish the presentation.

About 10 minutes later an e-mail popped up from the person I was scheduled to meet with in 20 minutes telling me she would need to reschedule our meeting. I found myself with an extra hour before my next meeting. Coincidence? Miracle? I choose to believe so. This Course says there is no order of difficulty in miracles. The Secret says our own beliefs about the power of the Law of Attraction sometimes limit the miracles that appear to be available to us. The Secret suggests we start small - like with a cup of coffee, or a parking space, or by thinking about someone we haven't thought about for a while. If you really focus your thoughts, the Law of Attraction says that there is science behind the effects, which will show up as someone buying you a cup of coffee, getting a close parking spot, or hearing that person's name come up in seemingly random fashion.

What used to happen to me was that I would want to believe in something, but there would always be this little voice of cynicism and doubt in my mind saying "this will never work" and - so be it - it wouldn't work. I'd get to be right every time. What didn't occur to me at that time was that I could be right about believing it would work, too. It just appeared easier to default to the negative.

Now I find that defaulting to the positive is much more automatic for me. I don't have as many attack thoughts - and if I do, I notice them much more quickly (thank goodness for the Law of Gestation which gives me that time delay before the thoughts manifest!).

I just noticed that I refer to The Secret and also this Course a lot in my conversations. It's not unlike my references to The Landmark Forum. For me those have been really significant signposts in my own life. Landmark was my first exposure to a lot of this new way of thinking, so for me that was my wake-up call and I compare a lot of my thinking to Landmark simply because it was my first reference. The same is true of both A Course in Miracles and The Secret - each represents a quantum jumping off point for me in old thought patterns. I just want to give credit where it is due in my own life and am in no way suggesting or even implying that anyone else need follow the same path.

What are you noticing in your own life? Where are all those coincidences? Just noticing them might shed some light on what isn't and also what is working in your life.

Day 24

Today's Lesson:

I do not perceive my own best interests.

This lesson points out that nearly every thought I have involves some judgment. In any situation that calls my attention, there is some level of expectation or desired outcome. What I do to achieve the outcomes I think I desire is based on my perception of the situation, and we've learned in earlier lessons that my perception is wrong. So it would follow that I would not serve my own best interests.

This lesson takes a lot of practice, because I've been programmed throughout my life to do whatever I can to be right. As a young person I wouldn't try anything new if it meant that I might not be good at it. I would fight tooth and nail to prove that my perception was correct, so I would never have been open to believing that I wouldn't perceive my own best interests. But today's lesson tells us that if we are closed to the possibility that we might not know what's best for us, we have no opportunity to learn. As I see how closed my mind has been, it allows me to alter that perception and allow room for learning.

Miracles I'm noticing:

Just being able to admit that I do not know my own best interests and to be open to new possibilities is a big step for me, and one I've been practicing for almost four years now. In March of 2003 I completed the Landmark Forum, which really gave me openings to new possibilities, and since then I've been practicing. I began studying this Course regularly in January of 2005, so this, too is another opening for a new process. Each week our group gets together, I witness so many more miracles that are happening in each of our lives as we start opening up to the lessons. I'm hoping the other members of our study group will share some of their stories here. We've heard about smoother relationships at home, insights with work situations, new access to relationships of all kinds, past and present, and it's obvious that as we open ourselves to what we're practicing in today's lesson, the miracles come rushing in.

I invite anyone who reads this blog today to share what they're noticing - whether through studying the Course or just waking up in their own understanding - to share what they're seeing in their own lives. What seems to be a coincidence? What can you see that just sort of "fell into place?" Think back to what you were thinking when you noticed that miracle and you'll begin to see that retraining your mind is altering the cause. The effects just naturally follow.