Day 34

Today's Lesson:

I could see peace instead of this.

Today's lesson is a great reminder that the world I see outside is a direct result of the world I see inside. If I see the world as fearful, depressing, or anything other than peaceful, that's the first sign that I have fallen back into my old way of seeing. As the lesson says, "it is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises."

In each of the daily lessons, we are asked to devote five minutes or so to practicing the thought for the day. We are to search our minds for fear thoughts, anxiety-provoking situations, "offending" personalities or events, or anything else about which we are harboring unloving thoughts. Note them all casually, repeating the idea for today slowly as we watch them arise in our minds, and let each one go, to be replaced by the next.

Miracles I'm noticing:

This daily practice ends up being kind of a like a meditation practice in disguise. I don't know about you, but the word "meditation" has always intimidated me. I know what I need to do, and I know about the benefits to just being still. So the daily lessons allow me to get past my preconceived notions about my perceived inability to meditate.

I'm thinking that this religion situation with my mother (see previous posts for a better explanation) was put here exactly for this purpose for me. As I've been studying the Course for the past two years, I find that there are far fewer situations that cause me to be upset, so this is one that has shown up to be my practice subject. When I think of it like that, I can really be grateful - and grateful not just that she sent me that package (I must have needed a big reminder!), but grateful that my parents gave me the religious foundation they gave me. After reading through all the literature in the packet, I'm also so very grateful that I've found this group of friends and this Course because it feels so much better to me than the old patriarchal and exclusive study I was raised with. It's validation to me that I really can see peace instead of that.

Day 10

Today's Lesson:

My thoughts do not mean anything.

This is just slightly different from a previous lesson which said "these" thoughts do not mean anything. As I was practicing that idea by looking at objects and people around me, now I'm working on personalizing the lesson with any random thoughts that come into my mind.

What I've found really interesting about this re-training of my mind is the awareness that it brings to what would have been random "stuff" in my head before. I use a similar idea in some of the training I conduct, including the training I'm doing this week. We take 20 seconds and just listen to the voice in our heads - just to start noticing those 60,000 random thoughts. That's the first step to being able to do something with those thoughts - noticing them. Again I'm reminded of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz where he talks about "domestication" and how we almost mindlessly agree with the programming from our childhood, and about how the thoughts in our heads have either a "victim" or a "villain" voice to them. Just noticing which voice is usually speaking is like turning on a light in a dark room. As I can start to realize that my thoughts really mean nothing when I can be objective about them, I can then create new opportunities free from those past judgments and agreements.

Miracles I've noticed:

Last night's Course study group was amazing as we gathered to share what we've observed over our first week of collective study. In talking with individuals both before and after our study, I was delighted to be able to share my observations, but even more delighted to hear how this new way of looking at the world is affecting not only those of us in the study group, but our families and those around each of us through our work. People mentioned that they have had fewer disputes or arguments with spouses and co-workers, how they are noticing what is coming up for them much more than they might have before, including the ease or difficulty they are having with reading the lessons and the text. When we can remind each other that our thoughts mean nothing - and own that for ourselves - we join this brotherhood and sisterhood of support and love that is truly remarkable.

We also talked last night about the distinctions some of us are feeling compared to the feelings we have had around our traditional religious upbringing. This dialogue and study just feels so right and for many of us that's very different from the feelings of guilt and shame many of us felt as Sunday school children growing up. And that in itself might produce guilt based on our past way of seeing. "If it feels good, it must be bad" seems to be the way many of us were raised, so this seems more like a chance to unlearn first. This is why the Course seems to make so much sense to us. It truly is a "re-membering" opportunity - or a chance to see how much we can create when we come together rather than separate as our traditional religious upbringing may have taught us.

I am also much more present to the dialogue in the classes I'm facilitating this week as I become more and more awake to the lessons each day. In each class I'm seeing how the energy with which we create our dialogue affects each member of the class and, even though there are some rather dire circumstances and realities to address with the class participants, we are able, together, to keep the spirit positive. I think that has everything to do with the energy I bring because of what I'm learning and remembering from the Course. It is truly a catalyst by which I'm able to shift my thoughts from fear to love, and the awareness these lessons provide is having amazing effects all around me. Thanks for being part of the dialogue!