Day 39

Today's Lesson:

My holiness is my salvation.

Today's idea starts out by asking us, "If guilt is hell, then what is its opposite?" We first have to answer for ourselves whether or not we believe that guilt is hell. We learn today that we are dealing only in the very obvious, which has been overlooked in the clouds of complexity in which we think we think.

The idea today is really very straightforward. The lesson tells us that we have already said that our holiness is the salvation of the world. We cannot give what we do not have. A savior must be saved, otherwise he could not teach salvation. Once we recognize that our salvation is crucial to the salvation of the world, we will begin to see that the whole world stands to benefit. Our holiness means the end of guilt, and therefore the end of hell.

Miracles I'm noticing:

Today's idea really shows me how much my religious upbringing focused on guilt and fear. The first time I read that guilt is hell, I almost felt guilty for believing it, which just proves how unconscious my feelings of guilt had become. If that were true, then I really was living in hell without even thinking about it. Since then I've become more more conscious of my feelings of guilt, and have consequently chosen not to let guilt run my life. I can say with confidence that I do far fewer things out of obligation these days and am very conscious of the freedom that gives me in my daily life.

I also notice that I am much calmer and more accepting of the fact that my holiness really is my salvation. It used to be difficult for me to believe that I really could be worthy of what this Course teaches. I've been conditioned to believe that I am sinful and unclean and that it really would be very egotistical of me to believe that I could possibly be deserving of much at all in this lifetime. I've been taught that salvation is mine because Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and my eternal reward will be realized in Heaven - after I die. What would give me the slightest idea that I could possibly be rid of guilt and deserve holiness right here right now?

I realize now that it is very egotistical to believe that I know better than my Creator what I deserve right here right now. When I try to block the holiness that is my salvation, I am denying myself - and the world - the salvation that is ours. I cannot give to the world what I do not have. According to the way I've been taught, by shutting off my own salvation, I would be doing the same to the world. By denying myself the gifts my Creator has given me, I have been unconsciously doing the same to the world. It is no wonder this Course talks about the upside-down thinking we have come to believe.

If guilt is hell, what is its opposite? My holiness is my salvation from this.